Month: September 2020

I like the quiet.

I just love the early morning silence that I encounter when I’m the only one up in the house and head out to the gym in the dark.

I love the silence (that I rarely get anymore) in the bathtub. This is where my obsession with long, steamy, nauseatingly hot, 2 hour baths come from.

I love the silence in my car at times. Sometimes, I’d find that I had driven over an hour to work (well, when that used to happen), in complete silence… just lost in my thoughts. Allowing my brain to take twists & turns, in and out of rabbit holes, and down slippery slopes, before realizing I am parked in front of my office building.

The silence allows me to think. It allows me to breathe, to reflect, to unwind. It also lets my typically stifled creative left-side brain to turn on.

So, like I said, I love the silence.

However, in my opinion, there is nothing worse than being silenced. Feeling afraid or controlled by public opinions or policies, that keep you from voicing your opinion, beliefs, concerns, or joy.

I’m not sure others feel the same way I do on this topic, but some must as we look at the unrest in our country. The protesting we are seeing is an outcome of folks who feel silenced (in many forms of the word). I applaud those protesting (not rioting) any issue in our country right now (that they truly support & believe in), because they are standing out on a limb saying “hear me, see me.. this is wrong.”

I’m sure this is how it felt/feels for our gay community. Most people my age, grew up silencing their souls, feelings, true selves. For someone who lives & dies by being able to fearlessly share my lyrics in life, I can’t imagine how miserable and suffocating that had/has to feel. They were silenced out of fear of public reaction.

I’m know our Black American community, feels the same. Several of my black friends have shared their feelings & experiences with me after being discriminated against for most of their lives, and it’s heartbreaking and infuriating, all at the same time. They were silenced out of fear of public reaction.

I know females in many settings have felt this way. Discrimination, inequality in pay and policies, & sexual harassment/assault were all acceptable for decades, as well. They were silenced out of fear of public reaction.

All of the different groups of folks I mentioned above (and so many more) have felt silenced for far too long. From the silence grew anger, resentment, and disengagement. These groups of people then formed formal & informal support groups to help work through their emotions. These support groups, like any support groups, let folks speak their minds, share their dreams & concerns, and helped them figure out their next steps. Inside the walls of their groups they are supported. Inside the walls of their groups they are not silenced.

So, do I feel silenced?

• I personally feel silenced about being a Christian. It feels unsafe in certain settings to openly admit I am a Christian.

• I personally feel silenced about being a Republican. It feels unsafe in many settings to openly admit I am a Republican.

• I personally feel silenced about being a Trump supporter. It feels unsafe in almost all settings to openly admit I am a Trump supporter.

• I personally feel silenced out of fear of public reaction for all of these.

And those that are reading this, that hate Trump—you know who you are, I am friends with many of you. You hate him to your core. You may read the bullets above, and think “Who Cares? I don’t care if my beautiful and talented friend Lindsey 😊 is scared to go out in public with a Trump shirt on because she may be physically or verbally attacked”. Well, that may be where we differ. I do not want any of my friends to ever afraid to tell me their beliefs, their thoughts, their dreams, their anything. I want all people to be able to be themselves freely. I do not want my friends to believe what I believe, I want my friends to be happy and free—free to be themselves.

There are also those reading this that may say, “Well Trump is X, Y, and Z, and that is why I hate him. How can my beautiful and talented friend Lindsey😊 admit she supports him.” Well that’s an easy one…. First of all, I don’t believe X, Y, and Z. And I know, I know…. There are a million sources out there that can prove to me why you are right and I am wrong, but that is how we are different. I promise you I will never push you to believe in my beliefs. And if you are my friend, and you think I am a good person, then you must believe that I have my reasons for supporting President Trump.

And let’s remember, if I have to hide my beliefs from you for fear of your reaction, then you aren’t really my friend.

When I feel silenced, I also revolt. The more I feel silenced, the more I share my feelings and views in public. In voicing my beliefs, I hope to encourage others who feel the same, to voice their views and to know they are not alone… similar to unity people feel throughout the camaraderie of protesting. I actually never posted pictures of my Trump flag in my gym intentionally, out of fear from what how the public would react. I never wore Trump-supporting clothing, out of fear from how the public would react. Now I intentionally do, in hope of showing others that feel the same way that I do, that it is ok to share your beliefs. Think of any of the other discriminated groups listed above… it takes courage and numbers for change.

So as we continue through the chaotic last few months of 2020, I’d encourage you to think about your silencing behaviors. We, as a country, have 4 months to go here… which will include continued COVID issues, the introduction of the flu to COVID, continued rioting, continued protests, and the climax being the election. I for one, only silence hate.

We all have different opinions.

If you’re my friend on here:

• I don’t want to hear hate.

• I don’t want to hear your opinions on my opinions.

• I want to hear your opinions.

• I want to hear why you believe what you believe. That, my friends, is interesting to me.

We are all entitled to all these different opinions & beliefs, that are tied to our own uniquely interesting backgrounds.

Don’t silence your friends.

People post their thoughts to let others understand them at a different level. It’s not your job to change other adults’ opinions.

You just have to listen.

So as we go into this long weekend, I hope you all get to enjoy some of those rare moments of silence in life, without silencing the views of others.

#stopsilencing

#stopquestioning

#startlistening

As you might’ve picked up from me, I’m not a fan of remote-learning for our children. For adults, I love it. Hell, I earned my MBA via remote-learning when I was in the Coast Guard—at which point in my career I couldn’t have attended grad school via an onsite physical-school due to varying deployment schedules. And sheesh, now I work for a company that provides remote-learning for all adult registered professions (i.e., nurses, real estate agents, real estate appraisers, etc.). But for children, especially young children, remote-learning is not a solution. It’s not a temporary fix. It’s not a bandaid.

It’s a failure. A complete, horrific failure by our society to stand up for those who don’t have a voice—-our children.

I won’t ramble off all the social implications from keeping our babies isolated from recess, gym class, and friends, etc.

I won’t stomp up and down and explain how the statistics behind COVID19 do not support hindering our children’s development in this manner.

I won’t say anything about how politics has everything to do with this bullshit, while our poor babies pay the price.

I won’t go on and on about how this isolation has taught our children many poor behaviors like: sneakily doing things they shouldn’t because they know no one is watching, or sitting on electronics/tv all day because no one is watching, or eating junk food because no one is watching.

I won’t harp on the fact that their newly-developed poor behavior has strained relationships between babies & their parents, as parents are constantly correcting, shooing, or disciplining.

And I definitely won’t bring up how this ridiculous decision to keep school doors closed is catapulting women back to the 1950s, where their only choice was to stay at home.

You are all adults. You can use your brains to decide what you believe is right & wrong.

All I’ll say, is if you don’t agree with what is taking place in our schools today, don’t just sit there miserable and blindly accept it.

You have a voice use it.

Voice your opinions to your teachers, principals, and superintendents.

Voice your opinions to every political figure in office.

Write letters, write editorials, vote the right people in, or move your children to other in-person schools if you can—-just do something.

Don’t just sit there.

Do. Something.

Our children are counting on us.

#bealion

#bealionbeforeitstoolate