I think one of the worst side-effects of this COVID19 situation is that it has somehow resulted in fully allowing people to believe they have a right to question, direct, & openly judge others’ choices and decisions on how they execute the safeguarding measures in their own homes.
Yesterday, when I went out for my weekly grocery store trip, with my two kids in tow, I had someone come up behind me and loudly declare to someone next to them that in their opinion kids under 16 shouldn’t be allowed in stores. As if to mom-shame me out of the store. As if their opinion and understanding of safeguarding is better than mine. They didn’t ask any questions. They didn’t know that my husband is an essential, out-of-home worker, who just got home from night-shift and was trying to sleep. They didn’t know we live so far out in the middle of nowhere that we can’t get groceries delivered. They didn’t know I had my kids wear coats and keep their hands in their pockets, and that we had had a 10 min chat on how to act in the store when we went in before entering the store. Instead, they just decided they knew better and that they needed to let me know indirectly. It took energy from every cell in my body to not turn around and directly address their uneducated statements, and quite frankly their cowardly approach. I honestly do not care what others’ opinions are on my actions surrounding safeguarding measures. It’s my job to educate myself and to follow the law/directives. The shelter in place guidelines allow for grocery shopping, and do not restrict children being present. So it’s my choice as an adult to decide how to move forward based on those directives. Any person’s opinion on my choice… is just that—-an opinion—-and therefore, not relevant to me.
It reminds me about how I felt when I first became a mom—and having others feel like they could openly tell me what I should and shouldn’t do with or for my child. As if, I didn’t have the mental abilities to raise my child, or that they had the only right way.
It reminds me of the worst part of politics—when others can’t accept that you have a different belief system and just appreciate you for being you, but instead want to convince you that their way of life is the right way.
Last time I checked, the great part of being an adult, is getting to use your brain to make your own decisions in life.
I suggest we all slow our rolls, calm down and start trusting others. In general, most adults are worthy of being trusted to try and do the right thing. And in general, most people in this situation, are doing the best that they can.
I suggest we move forward in life with a basic assumption that all the moms out there, have their own unique situation in their family. And based on that and their upbringing, they will manage to find the right path to raise their babies without unsolicited advice…. because, well, they’re adults.
Along the same lines, let’s remember everyone was raised with unique backgrounds and a unique combination of belief systems. And based on that, let’s move forward with the basic understanding that others will manage to determine which political party (if any) to believe in and affiliate themselves with … because, well, they’re adults.
And lastly, for the love of God, let’s recognize that everyone is trying their best to get through this crazy shutdown of the world, in their unique situation at home. And based on the fact that: (1) it appears absolutely no one has all the facts on this disease, (2) there’s an insane amount of change on what we do know to be true about COVID19 each day, (3) there’s a ridiculous amount of misinformation circulating out there, and also knowing that (4) no one wants this to spread and end the world, then maybe …. just maybe…. we should each trust that all the other people out there are doing their best to keep themselves and others safe and sane.
No need for anyone to think they’re an expert, and therefore post their guidelines on the do’s and don’ts following the issuance of shelter in place directives.
No need to tell everyone your advice or opinions on what they should do in their homes, on their essential outings, and with their children.
No need for celebrities to suddenly think that because they contracted the disease that they should tell the rest of us grown-arse humans how grave this is and that we all should finally “take this seriously”.
No need for us to do anything, except worry about our own actions.
Because, we are adults.
Be safe, be kind, be trusting.