Learnings in Life

PSA-Clearly, this blog will contain foul language, don’t proceed if it will offend you.

If you’re someone who leaves an empty toilet paper roll on the toilet paper holder, fuck you.

If you’re someone who puts dirty dishes in the sink instead of directly into the dishwasher, fuck you.

If you’re someone who parks too close to other cars making it difficult for others to get in and out of their vehicle, fuck you.

If you’re in the service industry and you are a crab ass to your customers because you hate people, fuck you.

If you feel safer wearing a mask, and therefore think it must be mandated that all others wear masks, fuck you.

Regardless of political affiliation, if you despise and spew hate at an opposing political candidate, and then also decide you despise and must spew hate at anyone that follows this candidate (meaning, anyone that doesn’t agree with you), fuck you.

If you have not questioned the legitimacy behind closing down small businesses and mandating ridiculously low occupancy restrictions on these businesses, while Walmart and every other big chain is allowed to stay wide open with zero occupancy restrictions, fuck you.

If you are a person who is afraid to eat out, and in order to control your fear has called the health department on any restaurant for not obediently following the restrictions placed upon them, fuck you.

If you are a restaurant owner, and you have diligently followed the restrictions recently placed upon your business (due to fear or beliefs or whatever), but have turned around and called the health department on your competition for not following these restrictions, fuck you.

If you’re ok with the government shutting down our churches, fuck you. (Not sure I should use “church” and “fuck” in the same sentence, but I’m gonna roll with it)

If you have dug into any of the data around COVID, and therefore realize the stats behind this virus don’t support shutting down our schools, and you’ve done nothing about it (despite the serious impact on our children), fuck you.

If you are someone that supported the violence, chaos, and destruction of government and private property earlier in 2020, and you have suddenly been offended by the ANTIFA-led destruction on January 6th, fuck you.

If you’ve called for investigations into every police shooting this year, except for the one on January 6th, fuck you.

If you’re someone who is blindly following the one-sided narrative of the MSM, fuck you.

If you’re a public servant that was put in place to ensure the integrity of our election, and you were set to voice your concerns on January 6th but changed your mind because you got scared, fuck you.

If you are someone that read any of the affidavits or watched any of the videos showing any possibility of voter fraud in this past election, and you don’t care or did nothing about it, fuck you.

If you are in support of any form of Big Tech censorship of the American people (especially the POTUS), fuck you.

If you are someone who doesn’t actually post anything about your own beliefs or passions on social media, but instead you sit around and troll on other people’s pages just to bash their beliefs, fuck you.

If you’re someone who is ridiculously tough and nasty behind your computer screen, but in reality you don’t have the courage to be tough in person, fuck you.

If you don’t believe (or in the very least, seriously question) that the “attack” on the 6th wasn’t clearly a set-up (based on the supporting countless videos), fuck you.

Fuck you, because you are part of the problem.

P.S. stay tuned for my next little ditty, “How to Properly use the phrase “Fuck Off”.

We all grow up learning how it feels to win and lose.

Some get more experiences based on how they are raised and based on how many activities/sports they participate in, but almost everyone understands the feeling.

When you win, you’re on top of the world; filled with pride and excitement! Think back to the St. Louis Cardinal’s 2006 World Series win in the 9th inning of game 7! Hells yeah, Yadier!!! I mean, really… has there been a better win😂 The crowd exploded, strangers were high-5-ing and hugging all over the city! Hell, I’m a non-hugger, and I think I flipped my stance for the night. The euphoric feeling is so amazing after a big win!

Now think about your personal experiences in loss. I’ve definitely lost many times in races & track meets through high school & college. I’ve lost contests, competitions, and job roles I was fighting for. The feelings that come from loss suck: depression, irritation, humiliation, embarrassment, sadness, disconnectedness…

But life is about winning and losing. It’s important that we teach our children to be strong enough to move on past losing with a hopeful heart, and to also learn how to be humble & proud winners. You just can’t (easily) survive life without those skills.

So, that brings me to today, January 7, 2021. Yesterday will be a day in America that so many of us will remember for various reasons and with various perspectives.

I won’t assume to understand or write about the perspectives different than mine, but here is how I will remember yesterday:

Yesterday, every patriot & Trump supporter was caught off guard.

We walked into the morning of the 6th with hope (that was absolutely larger than life), and ended the day defeated, disgusted, and lost.

That morning, as millions of peaceful Trump supporters marched through DC together, we still had hope that the process had a tiny inkling of still working, that it could still be adjusted to get us back on course…

But we were wrong.

For the last 4 years, we’ve watched as our POTUS bravely fought the MSM, while uncovering more and more immoral and illegal behavior of our politicians and their “supporters behind the curtain”.

We connected the dots between Soros, the lab in Wuhan, the intentional panic created over COVID19, the repeated usage of ANTIFA to drive social unrest, the censorship by big tech, the clearly documented election fraud, and the planned destruction of our economy.

But, we didn’t see yesterday coming.

The crystal-clear (paid) set-up against Trump-supporters, during the most important debate in my lifetime, was a game-changer. What an ingenious play. It resulted in backlash and blame towards Trumpers, and made our cowardly Senators/Representatives suddenly decide they’d “just count the votes” instead of completing their due diligence into the investigation of election fraud. Nicely played.

At the end of the day, the other team had completed a playbook that should be a #1 bestseller by now—-“How to Take Down a United States President”.

Now, as I said, we weren’t expecting that final right hook.

But for those supporting the election fraud (aka turning a blind eye to it), this is what you’re probably NOT expecting:

We the people…. the 74 million people that support Trump… aren’t experiencing feelings of loss today.

We aren’t walking off the field after shaking hands.

We aren’t going home to cry ourselves to sleep.

We didn’t lose.

In previous elections, both sides have always figured out how to move forward and peacefully transition power, because the US believed one party won and one party lost. Not this time.

There is one huge difference between past elections and now…

This election was stolen.

As a country, we’ve just witnessed a Tonya Harding attack on our freedom, and are expected to do nothing about it. Imagine if Tonya had taken out Yadier’s knee, as he walked up to bat …. and St. Louis was told they had to accept the loss—-Busch Stadium would’ve come crashing down.

So, rest-assured, instead of moping off to our homes in our respective states, we are rising together.

You won’t see sadness in our eyes, you’ll see a look of unbridled determination.

This is our country.

We ARE the people.

We’ll be damned it we’re going to let it be stolen, corrupted, & destroyed.

We aren’t violent, but we’re also not afraid to stand up for our rights.

So, saddle up.

It ain’t over.

I went out to Eureka (my hometown) with my kiddos to spend New Year’s Day with my family. I spent the first half of my life in this small town, and it’s where my parents & siblings & cousin still resides. Since the time when I lived there, this teensy tight-knit town has at least tripled in size.

So, anywho, on New Years Day I posted a feisty post on a Eureka-group page on FB, aimed at challenging my hometown to come out and dine at our local restaurants. It was like any other blog I’ve written, laced with bad language & my amazing sense of humor:) The post included a picture of me and my parents and sister sitting inside a Eureka restaurant, where the owner was being bold enough to stand up to the indoor dining lockdown mandates by offering inside dining 3 days before the mandate is lifted. (Note: For those unaware, St. Louis County is the only county in the state restricting indoor dining).

So I posted my challenge and asked people who were not afraid to come out to come fill this restaurant, while also suggesting those who were afraid stayed safely tucked away at home.

A few hours later I visited another Eureka restaurant and did the same thing—-posted and challenged Eureka to join me at the restaurant.

There was no ill intent on my post, I was truly just trying to help out some small businesses during these ridiculous restrictions.

Well, the result was insane. The large majority of responses were positive—-with over 700 likes/loves between the 2 posts within 24 hours. However, there was a good 20+ repeat commentators who despised me and/or the message I was sharing…. and they filled the threads with their hatred and anger.

These haters called me names & made fun of me in little fast-typing cliques.

These haters took jabs at my 75 year old parents.

These haters called me selfish.

These haters called me part of the problem.

These haters trolled on my personal social media pages to try and use my words against me.

These haters called me an entitled white woman (because that’s not sexist or racist).

These haters hated that I mentioned I was a veteran.

These haters hated that I grew up in this small town —— as I found out from these intellectuals, made me “small town royalty.”

These haters just let it rip.

Amazingly, 99% of these haters had never met me, and only two of the haters I went to high school with or with their siblings.

Now, I’d love to say I was perfectly behaved. But… of course, I didn’t sit on the sidelines like an angel taking an ass-whooping:) I threw out my best immature jabs and lots of F-bombs (not my proudest moments😂). And although it was entertaining and fun for the first hour, it grew old fast. I hadn’t realized as a rookie to the page that I was dealing with professionals. This was much different than posting on my private page where most folks are calm and respectful, I was dealing with a group of people used to just tearing apart other humans.

And, despite receiving quite a few personal messages appreciating me for leading the fight, I woke up the next day feeling drained, disgusted, and demotivated.

It took me all day to think through why.

Well, one of my most important New Years Resolutions is trying to figure out a way to make a difference on the freedom restrictions that are happening to us today in America. I’m sure lots of you have more interesting resolutions, and may find mine odd or just disagree with my goal…. and that’s cool. But to me, it’s become my North Star in a year of crazy. Last year I blogged about this topic… a lot. That was my attempt to bring about change. And although I heard a lot of support, it was all just words. Nothing actually happened.

This year I want to contribute to an actual meaningful change. So I kicked off the year with the aforementioned Eureka Group posts, and spent the day responding to angry gnats. These were not just the gnats from last summer that stay right in your eyelashes driving you batshit crazy, these little suckers bit, as well.

These were gnats who do not know me or my family. They don’t know my intentions or my heart. They have no idea what I stand for, nor what I’ve lived through and accomplished. They are just gnats. And I know I will not achieve a real change by spending my 2021 days responding to gnats, who are hell bent on gnawing off my eyelashes.

Sometime yesterday afternoon, I had an amazing moment of clarity, and I was filled with hope and strength once again—-it hit me, these haters… these gnats… have one thing in common—-fear.

They are afraid. They’re afraid of COVID19. They’re afraid of non-mask wearers. They’re afraid of citizens and restaurants defying laws that could somehow impact them. They’re afraid of the health inspector. They’re afraid of fines. They’re simply afraid to live freely.

And the more scared they get, the more they want us to understand their fear. And when we don’t, they want to take away our freedoms to protect themselves. They want to control us. They want to lockdown our small businesses. They want to lockdown our schools & churches. When they hear a big mouth like me voicing my points about freedom & liberty, they want to publicly destroy me in hopes of suppressing any others sharing my beliefs. Their fear is destroying our economy, our communities, and our youth.

So, they are afraid. Big deal. Because I am not afraid.

I. Am. Not. Afraid.

And more importantly, the silent majority is not afraid. These types of nasty-gnats are the catalyst to the creation of the silent majority. They believe if they destroy one little “entitled white woman” on social media, they will keep the rest of the population in line. But that’s where they are so wrong—-them attacking someone for not following their beliefs only makes the silent majority stronger.

We, the silent majority, are not afraid.

We.

Are.

Not.

Afraid.

Not afraid of catching a virus.

Not afraid of standing up to restrictions and mandates that go against our beliefs and values.

Not afraid of fearlessly voicing our opinions in miles of chummed waters.

It all seems so clear to me now.

We simply need a group of patriots—Think silent majority with some teeth.

This group will need some strong thought-leaders that will help us fight back against these politicized, ridiculous restrictions.

Our thought-leaders will need to come together to develop a decisive and fast-paced plan.

We will need legal counsel, a social media SME, help with screening new members, and so much more. The more help and support the better.

If you’re at all interested in being part of this group, pm me.

So many of my friends keep asking me how they can make a difference. They know they hate these restrictions and hate every overreaching action of our crooked politicians, but don’t know what to do about it. If you’ve been asking yourself the same question, now is your chance. You can be involved as much or as little as you want, but it’s time to take a stand.

2021 will not be the evil sister of 2020.

We do not have to continue to accept these bullshit restrictions.

This chapter will be about change, and I’m not wasting anymore time arguing with nervous-ninnies.

The time has come.

Who is with me?

P.S. To my silent majority friends, I will be attacked again on this thread by “those filled with fear.” Don’t engage, don’t lose hope, and don’t worry about me. I’ve got broad shoulders. Let them buzz and bite till their quivery-little bodies run out of steam.

Two weeks ago we lost our only leghorn hen, Mother Theresa. She was the sweetest hen— she’d run up to meet me anytime I left my front door, and she’d follow me around the yard.

As our lone leghorn, she provided the only white egg in our ombré-colored dozen. After her attack, I had to give her eggs away because it made me so sad.

The attack happened in broad daylight; a large hawk swooped down on her and left a pile of white feathers behind. My husband managed to scare the hawk away, but it was too late.

Since the attack we haven’t let our hens roam our yard again. Each morning, when I go out to feed them, they try to push through my legs to escape, but I won’t let them. They’re defenseless little chickens after all, and I have seen the same hawk continue to circle our yard since the attack.

I’m their owner, it’s my job to protect them… so until I feel like our yard is safe I’m keeping them locked up.

As I was deliberating whether I would let my hens roam the yard today, the irony of how America is living today hit me.

We the People of the United States, are allowing the government to act like our owners. Essentially, allowing the government to choose when and where and how we are allowed to move freely from our properties or provide for our families.

We the People of the United States, have forgotten the purpose of the United States government as described in the preamble:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.’’

Importantly, note that the Preamble declares who is enacting our Constitution—the people of “the United States”— not the government. It then further states the 5 purposes of the government as:

1. Establish Justice- to provide laws and punishments in a fair manner.

2. Insure domestic tranquility – to preserve civil peace so that everyone could live their lives without fear of social strife.

3. Provide for the common defense – to appropriate funds for national defense, having the power to declare war, and to support efforts to resolve conflict through diplomacy.

4. Promote the general welfare-providing for the general welfare such as improving transportation, promoting agriculture and industry, protecting the environment, and seeking ways to solve social and economic problems.

5. Secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity- preservation of the rights and freedom of each citizen.

The Preamble closes by stating, “Do ordain and establish this Constitution

For the United States of America.”—Meaning, to write down, and then to live by, a list of rules and promises for our government to keep and our people to obey, in OUR country- where we live.

At no point did we define the purpose of our government to:

Act like our owners,

Control choices on how to navigate life’s risks and challenges,

Control or restrict our religious beliefs and practices,

Lock us down in and on our properties,

Lockdown our livelihoods, and/or

Control who and how we interact with other humans.

Wake up America. The government is NOT the owner of our land and our coop, “protecting” us (chickens) from a “hawk” (COVID19).

The sad part is that for the 1st two weeks of the COVID19 scare/quarantine, we all acted like chickens… myself included. I had heard what they said about the “hawk” (COVID19) and I was happy to be locked up safely inside “my coop.” Our “owners” (the government) had promised they would keep us safe and promised it would only be 14 days. And we ALL believed them, and obeyed like good like chickens.

Well, those promises were made 9 months ago.

And for those too slow to follow along with what is really happening here, the government is not our “owner”.

They’ve become the hawk.

Wake the fuck up.

#bealion

#thegovernmentdoesNOTownus

Anyone who knows me, knows that I spend a good portion of my life attempting to stay in shape. This gets harder as I get older, but I refuse to go down without a fight.

There is a big portion of my “why” that comes from pure vanity, just wanting to look good or better.

There is another big portion of my “why” that comes from wanting to be strong enough to just do life’s tasks. A bag of dog food is 40 lbs; I can carry it on my shoulder and dump it in our dog food bin. A bag of chicken food is 50 lbs; I can carry it on my shoulder and dump it in our chicken food bin. My kids are in the 40-60 lb range; I can carry them.

The last big portion of my “why” is that I want my girls to see how to grow up strong… notice the word choice is strong & not thin.

I think interest in fitness & body image are strongly-influenced by our own individual upbringings and experiences. For example, my parents have always worked out, and they tried their best to encourage their kiddos to participate in their workouts. I remember waking up around 5 am as a middle-schooler running laps with my mom around the subdivision meadow. I remember running 5Ks in high school with my dad. I remember going to the YMCA when I was on Christmas break with my dad. I remember every day of our family vacation (including up to present day vacations) starting the day with my folks on a run or walk. These family habits had me involved in track & dance through college, and fitness there on after. So, it’s in my DNA to stay active, thanks to how I was raised.

But I also have had numerous life experiences that affected my view on fitness & body image:

1. My first pregnancy was rough, and required me to stay bedridden for 3+ months. When I finally delivered and got home, my feet were struggling to support the additional weight I had gained. I think it took close to a year for my heels not to hurt. That entire experience taught me what a gift it was being able to move and workout, and how I should never take it for granted.

2. I was a lifeguard in high school and in the military for 10 years after that. Both required a uniform. Both situations resulted in my body & how I fit in said-uniform to be compared to others bodies & how they fit. Those moments were probably when I learned to be critical about my body; when my self-talk changed from my childhood love of my body, to worrying about keeping up with other people’s bodies. These experiences taught me to worry about my weight.

3. When I got out of the Coast Guard, I wanted a new fitness challenge so I jumped into marathons. I loved the experience & the quiet & the feeling of accomplishment when I finished. In a few years I had finished 2 half marathons (Key West & STL) and 2 full marathons (Kansas City & Quebec City). These experiences taught me that you don’t get good muscle definition from just running, and that marathons were really hard on my knees & feet…

4. So then my big switch in my 30s was when I switched from marathons to fitness competitions. I’ve completed 3 now, and I loved the results and how it changed my body. But I didn’t like the restrictive diet and how I felt I had to plan each and every interaction with humans so that only the right food/drink went in my body. These experiences taught me how important lifting and diet are to maintaining a healthy BMI.

So you roll all of those experiences together & where does that put me with body image.

Well, let me start my saying life humbles you. I’m in my mid-40s now, and although I still wear a bikini on the beach I am well aware that I have more jiggle in my wiggle than I did as a 20 year old.

I think the most important things we need to teach ourselves and our children about fitness & maintaining a healthy body image are:

The DO’s-

DO stay active every single day. Do this by finding some form of cardio that you enjoy and make it a habit. Don’t start out crazy with huge goals, start small like 20-30 min a day and stay active. This will help every facet of your life: mood, energy, strength, peace, etc.

DO add weightlifting to your workout routine. Cardio is great for losing weight, but weightlifting will define your shape.

DO get sleep. There’s the obvious benefits to sleep that you can google … but to me, if you aren’t rested, you can kiss staying active goodbye. It will be the first thing you cut out of your day.

DO learn to love where you are in your fitness journey. This is easier said than done. I look back at fitness competition pictures with sad eyes sometimes… knowing the extra 20-30 lbs on my body nowadays is covering up some lean muscle. But I recognize the annoying level of commitment that that took, and resulted in what I would consider unhealthy eating habits. I love where I am fitness-wise because I feel strong and I eat healthy 60-70% of the time.

DO focus on protein vs calories. Try to eat 75% of your weight in grams of protein. Teach your kids about protein on labels not calories.

DO focus on consuming your weight in oz of water.

DO forgive yourself if you fall off your fitness plan. Don’t give up, get back at it.

The DON’Ts

DON’T compare your shape to others, nor teach your children to judge theirs to others. I think teaching our children to live healthy active lifestyles is critical. If they learn that, they should have strong healthy bodies that they love. Their bodies may have an extra roll than the “norm”, or may grow up to have more stretch marks than the “norm”, or may have more jiggle than the “norm”…. but it’s their strong healthy body. If you change how you think and talk about your body in front of your children, instead of hating their bodies that may not fit in single-digit sizes, they will love their bodies. They will love their bodies because they’ll realize their strength allowed them to compete in athletics, and play kickball with their kids, and swim in the ocean with their family, and carry their child on their shoulders.

DON’T talk (or worry about) sizes or weight numbers. Talk strength. I weigh anywhere around 165-175 lbs. As a 5’9” woman that weight is healthy, and lands me in a 10-12 size. I’ve been in this weight/height range since high school. Sadly, I grew up knowing those numbers should be lower… that most girls my age were 120-130 lbs and size 4-6. In fact, I was told repeatedly as a young girl, 5’ equals 100 lbs, and each additional inch above 5’ equals 5 lbs. That would equate to me weighing 145 lbs. Now, 145 lbs is achievable at my height, but that is my competition weight, when my body fat % is close to 10%. That guideline didn’t take into account muscle mass. Talk strength, not size.

DON’T talk about how others look. Yesterday, People Magazine posted a picture/article about a celebrity (one of the Baldwin kids) holding her new-ish born baby. She was in lingerie (which I agree was a titch odd, but most celebrities are odd), and she was lifting her baby in the air, smiling. The comments were horrific. Every single human (sadly, mostly women) blasted her for promoting an unrealistic and unhealthy body image. They had no idea if she had been busting her arse trying to lose the baby weight, they didn’t know if her genetics just tend to result in a slimmer figure, they just assumed she lost weight in an unhealthy manner and slammed the crap out of her. You will never get control of your own body image by tearing others down. If you teach your children to judge others weight, shape, size, they’ll soon start judging their own.

DON’T discourage people on their fitness journeys. I remember when I started posting workouts (for my own accountability) that I had several “haters” make fun of me. I’m too old to care at this point, but at the time it really sucked.

DON’T promote an unhealthy lifestyle because getting in shape is too hard. Back to the People Magazine example, there were plenty of comments stating the normal mom keeps the baby weight around for years after delivery. Now, if you think promoting not getting yourself back in shape after childbirth is healthy you’re being just as harmful. We shouldn’t teach our children being obese is ok, because losing weight is hard. There’s a fine line between teaching our kids to love their bodies, while also encouraging them to be fit & healthy. We need to learn how to teach our children that being strong is critical in life—-physically & emotionally.

It’s not about size.

It’s not about calories.

It’s not about what others look like.

It’s about strength.

Get after it…

And don’t forget to support those around you who are getting after it too.

#bestrong

Has there ever been a better title to a blog? I think not.

PSA: Based on the title, you should already recognize this … but if you’re offended by bad language, you should eject your little arse right out of this blog before it’s too late…

There are sooooooooo many directions I can take this blog, because there are sooooooooo many assholes nowadays😂

So I’m going to take it the direction that I want, because it’s my blog and I do what I want. 😂

If you’ve been a friend of mine on social media for any period of time, you probably know my stance on lockdowns, masks, and any other freedom-restricting mandate that has been pushed down on the American people since March. If you’re new to being my friend, here’s a quick recap——I’m 110% against all of these ridiculous mandates/restrictions… and although I do not even slightly understand those w/opposing views on these matters, I respect all other adults enough to assume they can figure out on their own how they want to navigate risks in their lives.

So fast forward to today. I have had yet another FB friend make a passive aggressive comment towards me when I shared a post about the negative impacts & opinions of others towards lockdowns. This friend wrote, “how’s your pool coming along?” The comment didn’t make sense, and didn’t pertain to the post content at all, so I was going to blow it off. But then I remembered one of his buddies wrote the same thing last week on one of my posts. It took me a bit to understand what the hell he was getting at…. but I think I finally figured it out. The message from my “friends” I am assuming is: “Lindsey, you have enough funds to put in a pool, so what are you bitching about lockdowns for….you’re clearly not starving, so just shut up and follow the rules.”

Once I realized that was the point, I was dumbfounded. It’s bad enough that we have virtue-signaling Karen’s running around pissed that WE ARE NOT protecting the greater good by wearing masks, NO BUT NOW we have them speaking out the other side of their masks (😂) pissed that WE ARE wanting to protect the greater good of small business owners by fighting against lockdowns.

Who is more important? Which greater good is the good-est 😂? The greater good being POTENTIALLY exposed to COVID? Or the greater good DEFINITELY losing their livelihood due to lockdowns? One is a potential and one is a definite.

I find it laughable that anyone would think that because my job & my husband’s job haven’t been impacted (yet) by lockdowns, that I wouldn’t fight for the rights of my fellow Americans? Where the fuck is the patriotism?

You know all of these damn politicians are still getting their nice government checks every 2 weeks—-they have no skin in the game, and if they’re not fighting these restrictions they’re failing the citizens they serve. For all of you that are begging for these restrictions, I bet none of you have had your business shut down. Because if you had… if you were less than a week from Christmas and staring at an empty checking account wondering how you were going to make the holiday special… or looking at your next mortgage payment wondering how you could cover it and therefore wondering if you and your babies will be out on the street in the dead of winter… you wouldn’t be so careless with your acceptance of lockdowns.

So I go back to the question posed to me… “how can I bitch about lockdowns, when my household hasn’t been impacted financially…”

Here’s how:

I’m not an asshole.

I love social media.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I love social media. I love to see & hear what is happening in my friends’ lives; most of these friends, that without the help from social media, I would’ve lost contact with years ago.

I also love to post (as you all probably have noticed). I love to use social media to share my thoughts, my blogs, my songs, my fears, my fantastic sense of humor (lol), and my daily highs/lows of adulting. Social media has allowed me to express my many different values/views to so many people who may have otherwise just put me in a box based on our limited interactions. It has also helped me stay accountable at different times in my life for certain goals, like eating right, working out, and reading (resulting in the most boring & redundant posts ever, sorry ‘bout that).

As much as I love about social media, I also detest at an equal level. I hate how it listens to me, and then adds ads to my newsfeed. I hate being tracked & traced——I mean if the US government wanted to snatch me and my little terrorist children up for a water-boarding exercise, I’ve basically given them a road map to our hourly location with all my ridiculous posts. But above all, I detest the level of immaturity & disrespect these platforms encourage.

I’m not going to sit up on a high horse & say I haven’t lost my cool during a social media attack, and ended up writing something I’m not proud of; I’m human and screw up on the regular. But on the whole, I try to be someone who loves to scream about my passions at the top of the tallest mountain I can find, while also listening to my friends view points bellowing over from a nearby mountain.

I don’t know when our world changed to a place where if someone doesn’t agree with your viewpoint they’ve become open game for ridicule and insults. In the last 24 hours on Facebook, I’ve seen grown-arse adults, all of whom I went to high school with, tear each other apart (to the level of insulting their children). There were insults, sarcasm, nastiness, and of course passive aggressive jabs from the mean cowards in the back. It’s absolutely sickening, and sad.

Let’s rewind back to when we were children on a playground at school. Imagine one freckled face little 7 year-old boy wearing an “I believe in Santa” shirt, surrounded by mean older kids who are laughing at him or throwing rocks at him because of his beliefs. Or imagine a little girl in the school cafeteria praying before her meal, only to look up and see a table full of kids making fun of her for her beliefs. Is this where we have all landed again? “Be exactly like me, or you’ll be attacked?” It’s shameful.

I don’t care which side of the political spectrum you’re on.

I don’t care if you believe in my God, or your God, or no God.

I don’t care if you’re pro-life or pro-choice.

I don’t care if you love masks or hate them.

If you are my friend, I respect you and your point of view.

If you claim to be my friend, and spew hate at my beliefs or others, well then you aren’t really my friend.

#growup

#bekind

#anddontbeanasshole

(In the voice of Sofia from the Golden Girls)— Picture it, North St. Louis, 2015. It seemed like a normal day at the St. Louis P&G Plant—lots of fires to put out, lots of rushing around, personnel issues to deal with, line mechanical issues to fix—the norm. On that particular day, I was 5 months preggo & feeling some serious morning sickness. I hadn’t had this level of queasiness in a couple months, so I was struggling with functioning at work. But, since it was so hectic and stressful, I just kept “willing down“ the need to puke all morning.

Around noon, my husband (whom I almost never saw at work) walked up to me and asked me how I was feeling. This was unusual… well, because he never asks me feeling-questions like this. I tell him I’m fine, and ask him why he’s asking me. He tells me how he’s puked twice already at work, and suspects that he’s gotten a bug from our germy toddler. I then realize that my nauseousness is also probably connected to this same bug, and rush to the bathroom for some unpleasantries. Once I cleaned myself up, I tell my husband we need to leave and to meet me at the car ASAP.

We leave the plant within minutes, both of us looking green, and neither of us being able to hold our heads up straight. Just before getting on 270 I yell, “PULL OVER!!!” As he pulls onto the shoulder we both open our doors and projectile vomit out of both sides of the car. Can you imagine the visual we made there? Too bad we didn’t get to make a video for TikTok with that one! Anywho, we made it home, and he immediately took some Pepto and slept peacefully for the next 24 hours. I, on the other hand, was pregnant and therefore couldn’t take Pepto… so I continued to puke my brains out for the rest of the day. I’m a cryer-puker, so I was just physically and emotionally drained. Then, as if the non-stop-crying-puking wasn’t enough, this horrific illness kicked my body into contractions. Of course then I was even more stressed and sick and drained.

At some point after midnight I fell asleep with puke-covered clothes, puke-breath, puke stuck in my sweaty hair, which was of course stuck to my face.

It was horrible.

Horrific.

My body was sore for 48 hours afterwards.

I wouldn’t wish a strong stomach bug/flu on my worst enemy.

But… we all expect illness.

We all expect germs.

We all expect death.

Or so I thought.

Until 2020. 

Until COVID.

Even with the horrendous symptoms I survived that day, I would never suggest locking down our country to protect folks from it. I am having the hardest time understanding why any human thinks this could possibly be the correct path in life—-locking down the world.

I hear friends and family argue with my points, by stating “This is for the common good, just wear a mask and stay home. This is something we can control. Something we can do for the greater good. Stay Home, Save Lives.”

Well, my question back to you all is, if the logic on lockdowns is—“This is a bad virus, and we want to keep people safe”—then where do we draw the line on freedom restrictions of grown-arse adults capable of making decisions on their own.

I mean, driving isn’t safe; we have 38,000 deaths per year—-so do we stop driving? Get rid of everyone’s cars, licenses, ability to personally transport themselves around.

Drinking isn’t safe; we have 95,000 deaths per year—do we outlaw drinking? Time to kick back up the times of prohibition? Sounds fun, right?

Smoking isn’t safe; we have 480,000 deaths per year —-do we outlaw smoking? I personally am not a fan of smoking, but are we ready as a community to start handing out misdemeanors for lighting one up? This number of deaths is almost double the COVID deaths per year, so how can we just continue to allow people to CHOOSE to smoke?

Abortions are our intentional decision to end life, and we do that 621,000 each year? Any concerns here, or do these not count as deaths? Just trying to follow the rationale here.

To further my point, I did a little research on the CDC website. Below are the number of annual deaths for leading causes of death in the US:

• Heart disease: 655,381

• Cancer: 599,274

• Accidents (unintentional injuries): 167,127

• Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 159,486

• Stroke: 147,810

• Alzheimer’s disease: 122,019

• Diabetes: 84,946

• Influenza and Pneumonia: 59,120

• Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis: 51,386

• Intentional self-harm (suicide): 48,344

So let’s just analyze a few of these common death causes.

The most common death cause is heart disease, and the most common causes of heart disease are unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, being overweight, and smoking. So, with the logic of “for the better good, we must keep people safe”, we should:

• Require anyone that is obese to get on a weight management plan.

• Have a mandatory daily exercise requirement.

• Ban fast food. I mean, if we didn’t have it, people wouldn’t eat it right?

• Make smoking illegal, for sure.

• We can control these actions, so shouldn’t we?

• This is life and death after all, right?

The 2nd most common death cause is cancer, and the most common causes of cancer is tobacco use. So, with the logic of “for the better good, we must keep people safe”, we should:

• Again, make smoking illegal, for sure.

• This is life and death after all, right?

The 4th most common death cause is chronic lower respiratory disease, and the most common cause of chronic lower respiratory disease is tobacco use. So, with the logic of “for the better good, we must keep people safe”, we should:

• Yup, I said it before, and I’ll say it again, make smoking illegal, for sure.

• This is life and death after all, right?

• Ain’t looking too good for the tobacco farmers, is it?

For the 5th and 7th most common death causes (stroke and diabetes), the most common causes include obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, smoking. So, with the logic of “for the better good, we must keep people safe”, we should:

• Get rid of all foods that cause high cholesterol.

• Require anyone that is obese to get on a weight management plan.

• Have a mandatory daily exercise requirement.

• Ban fast food. I mean, if we didn’t have it, people wouldn’t eat it right?

• Make smoking illegal, for sure.

• This is life and death after all, right?

• I gotta tell you, I am getting pretty excited to start up my “Lindsey Daily Fitness Livestream Group” with all these mandated restrictions.

I think you might be getting my point, but let’s hit Alzheimer’s and Suicide while we are here. Alzheimer deaths are most commonly affected by age—- so what should we do for 65 year olds? Your risk is so much higher at that age? Not sure where to start there? Corral all the 65 years olds into a nice fenced in area in case they “Catch It” and need to be protected? And suicide… most commonly caused by depression…to ensure no depressed person makes this choice, instead of handing out Lexapro to every overworked and underappreciated mom out there, maybe instead we should put every depressed person in the US in a nice, padded room? Ummmm, I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat…. er, room.

I can live without smoking, drinking, fatty foods, stress, etc., but is that really living. Sounds like a living hell. Similar to what we are doing today. We are locking down the world. We are locking down our children. We are locking down our businesses and our neighbor’s businesses. We are locking down our lives. Almost like we have forgotten that life is short, and any day could be our last. I don’t want to live a life without vices, and I don’t want to live a life trapped in a bubble, in a mask, in the 4-walls of my home. And I won’t.

Now, before all you folks that have been affected by COVID jump my ass, I get that COVID can suck… I get that it can be dangerous. That is not my point. My point isn’t that COVID is not dangerous, my point is everything in life can be dangerous and we should be able to make our own choices on how to safely navigate those risks. Not through government-mandates.

We are being led by fear, and the scariest part to me is how many people out there are begging for these restrictions.

Let me close with this question for my restriction-loving friends: how do you prioritize what types of deaths are important enough to restrict our freedoms? Automobile? Alcohol? Obesity-related? Domestic Violence? Cancer? Suicide?

Because right now, I’m really struggling to understand your rationale.

She nonchalantly leans against her long, sleek convertible. One hand in her pocket, one casually up at her lips as she takes a slow drag on her extra-long cigarette. Clearly dressed to the hilt, she stands tall with her legs crossed at her ankles so that the toe of one of her stilettos is just barely touching the ground. Her bright headscarf protects her hair, while her white cat-eye sunglasses are covering up her intense glare. As she sets her sights in on her enemy, she drops her cigarette, and puts it out with her fancy shoe by stepping & twisting on it. She takes off her scarf, throws it in her car, and struts off toward her nemesis like a super model, ready for a fashionable & yet feisty confrontation.

She is our old-school rebel.

Cool, calm, collected, & always ready for battle.

When I think of the word rebel, I picture James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause, or Patrick Swayze & Tom Cruise in the Outsiders. Or what about Rizzo in Grease? I even group in more recent movies like Braveheart and Pretty Woman, with different variations of seriousness & different variations of the word rebel. The common thread in all of these movies is the understanding that these characters would stand up to society’s norms and choose to find their own path.

Much to my parents’ dismay, I grew up digging rebels. The cookie-cutter guy, straight out of the book of yuppies, never did it for me. I was always attracted to the long-hair wild child, but my true Achilles’ heel was if that wild child was crazy smart and driven. I just love the idea of someone’s insides not matching their outside. Something interesting, something unexpected. And above all else, something or someone brave.

I like to think that I was a titch of a rebel growing up. On the outside, I was a blonde goody-two-shoes, Pommie/dancer, math club nerd, track athlete, show choir junkie, straight A kiddo. But on the inside, I was a bit of wild child with my pals on the weekends and most importantly I also stood up to authority when I felt like it was needed. For example:

• My parents can attest to the written letters of explanations & emotional arguments on when I felt like they had overstepped their bounds on controlling who I could date. My father in particular loved these conversations.

• My female show choir leader once told us that any female in our choir group had to get approval to drastically cut or alter their long hair, as we should all look feminine on stage—next week I walked in with a short skater haircut.

• Countless times in life I have found myself witness to my family members being treated unfairly or poorly, and my scrwany-arse would get nose-to-nose with the gnarliest of perpetrators without a second thought.

• Oh, and in the military, there are all sorts of rules about who you can date, when you should date, where you can date…. I proudly gave my middle finger to those rules, as well.

• Bottom line— I wanted the world to know I am someone who will work my arse off to be a productive person in society, but I won’t be controlled… especially by rules that don’t make sense.

So, fast forward to 2020.

My rebel-side is in full swing.

I won’t conform to societal norms… especially the norms that don’t make sense.

I will never NOT be an American Patriot, despite the recent trends of implying patriots are racist. 

I will never NOT support our POTUS, despite emotional leftists claiming he is (and therefore I am) every “ist” in the book. Sidebar note for my non-Trump-loving friends: For every article, quote, etc. you have “proving” Trump is a “whatever”, I have fact-checking data that supports the opposite. I do not believe Trump is a racist, homophobic, white supremist, or any of the other accusations that you hear flying from the self-righteous left. Most importantly, I (and the majority of Trump supporters I know) would never vote for someone we thought was any of those things. That’s what I think you’re missing. In your mind you have already committed Trump to being all of those things, therefore, whomever supports him must support those things. Never mind that immediately upon taking office Trump declared his support for LBTGQ (something that took Obama until his second term). Never mind that despite all the left’s accusations of white supremacy Trump has been on video something around 280+ times denouncing it and all forms of bigotry. Never mind the “Platinum plan” that Trump has laid out with the assistance of influencers from the black community which will invest $500 billion (with a B) into black communities over the next 4 years. I could keep going but hopefully you see the point. You know Trump to be X and I know that to be false. I’m not an “ist” nor an “ic”… and no over-emotional post/generalization will ever convince me otherwise. I respect all humans that are respectful to others. And by respecting others, I don’t mean requiring others to follow my exact beliefs.

But I digress.

I will never NOT believe that these lockdowns and mask-mandates are a complete farse. 

I believe there is a COVID virus, but I do not believe in lockdowns/masks. We are annihilating our immune systems by avoiding other humans. We are destroying the critical growth years of our young children. We are obliterating our economy. All of these things aren’t HAPPENING TO US… we are either allowing them to happen because we are remaining silent, or we are encouraging these things to happen…

And why are we? 

Because we are scared.

And people controlled by fear in my book are cowards, and I simply can’t relate.

There is no game plan here… because there will ALWAYS BE VIRUSES. Which implies, if we continue down this ridiculous path, we will stay locked down indefinitely. So parents of young children, when will enough be enough for you? Are you going to let your children grow up without recess? Without schoolyard buddies and learning all the intricate pieces of socially interacting with others? This could go on until they are in highschool? Will you let them miss K -12? At this rate, these are all possibilities. And this means that you as an adult will have to make a choice. Are you a duster or a burner? Meaning, are you someone who buys candles to just set them around and dust them? Or do you burn them? You will have to choose—-dust or burn. Live or wait to die locked away. Hurry up on your decision, the next virus is already on its way, I’m sure.

So, rewind to the beginning of this blog.

Picture this badass woman. Now replace her stylish outfit with an elementary school hoodie, with fresh food stains on it from her toddler’s sticky fingers. Replace her stilettos with worn out running shoes. And replace her cigarette with a big cup of coffee.

She’s mask-less. 

She’s strutting towards a poll.

Or her state representative.

Or her child’s school principal.

Or best yet, a Karen.

She fights for her freedom.

She fights against the ridiculousness of wearing masks & locking down.

She may be filled with fear, but she keeps marching on.

She won’t remain silent, even if her voice shakes. 

She won’t stand by silently while her world is controlled by fear.

She will be ridiculed. Replace the goody-two-shoes from Grease that make fun of Rizzo, or the uppity-snobs on Rodeo Drive unwilling to sell to Julia Roberts… these hecklers from old movies are called Karen’s in today’s society. They are our modern-day virtue-signalers, convinced their “holier-than-thou” lifestyles are the only righteous ways to live.

But still our fearless woman marches on.

As she grabs the door handle and shoves the door open, she whispers to herself, “You’ve fucked with the wrong momma.”

She’s our modern-day rebel.

Go get ‘em, ladies!

#beaburner #bealion

Loss changes you.

It flat out changes the person that you’ve grown up to be.

Just stop and think of every little, tiny thing that you can right now …that you’ve lost at one point in life.

Your keys.

Your purse.

Your phone.

Your job.

Your friend.

Your girlfriend.

Your boyfriend.

Your car in the airport parking lot.

Your damn beagles.

However minor or meaningless the loss was, and/or however short the timeframe of losing it was, I bet it still changed you.

I can hear myself now:

“Lindsey, you have to always put your keys in the bowl by the door so you aren’t looking for them.”

Or

“Lindsey, you have to write the parking spot down in your phone before you leave your car at the airport.”

Or

“Lindsey, you have to double-check the lock is secure on the beagle cage every single night.”

My point—the smallest of losses still cause us to pause and change our behavior. Surprisingly, despite being that type of trivial loss, it still causes us anxiety, irritation, and usually a delay in getting somewhere on time. So we make a promise to ourselves to avoid that in the future.

And sometimes we keep that promise.

Sometimes we don’t… and history repeats itself.

But regardless, we survive those little losses.

And then life introduces you to your reserve strength. Life says—let me help this poor soul realize how much their faith can be waivering one day from lack of focus & attention, and then it can be their only North Star, the next.

Life presents to you… real loss.

Real loss in almost every definition in my book involves a human.

It’s hard to say what is the worst human to lose. I think it depends on your own circumstances, and your own relationships.

But losing an important human in your life can be the biggest heartache, and truly the biggest soul hurt you ever experience.

Now as someone who has only lost older family members, a few friends/co-workers, and no immediate member of my family, my perspective will be different than others, I’m sure.

But here is what I know about grief:

You have to survive 2 main phases: hard-core grief & then life afterwards.

The hard-core grief is the most intense & the scariest. I felt like I lost 2-3 months in a thick fog of the deepest part of this grief, and then slowly drifted back to the surface of life by about a year after the loss. Those 2-3 months… I honestly can barely remember. I felt like friends and family gently nudged me to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but also reminded me that this wasn’t a time to try and jog. Walk it out. Breathe and walk—my main 2 goals during the hard core grief period.

But honestly, that whole first year was filled with random bouts of crying, guilt, fear, family-stress. I could be in the cereal aisle, and I’d see a brand that reminded me of him and I’d just start sobbing. It would make no sense, it wasn’t logical. It made my husband nervous to speak to me:) But honestly, it was a phase I had to fully experience in order to survive.

I guess the main pieces of advice I could give from my perspective for the hard-core grief phase would be:

1. Intentionally focus on & capture happy loving moments with your family.

2. Workout, even lightly, to keep your depression/anxiety in check.

3. Keep talking or writing or singing about the person you lost. It helped process ALL the feelings by letting my friends & family know the emotional details of my grief.

4. Look for signs from above, and write them down. It helps to remember those signs later down the road.

5. Pray. A lot. And out loud.

Now surviving life after the hard-core grief is different. You may not feel as raw as you once did. Your trigger might not get tripped every time any memory floats in and out of your brain.

Life just continues with less volume.

Less brightness.

Less love.

Less of your tribe.

But I guess if I really think about it, the only advice, and the most calming thing I do, is to continue to honor the person. Having regular visits to his gravesite, writing blogs/songs, having the girls make him something to put on his grave…basically keeping his memory as part of our family. I love to remind the girls by saying, “Man, remember when Paca went here with us? I wonder what he’d order this time if he was here?” Just to watch their eyes light up and remember him, and try and relate to him in his next actions. I want them… well really, I need them to remember.

This phase of grief also has a tone change from the hard core grief phase. The tone changes from your own sadness and selfish desires of having the person back, to a tone of sharing happy memories in an attempt that the person is never forgotten.

Bottom line: Real loss is the most important life lesson you will experience.

The primary lesson is pretty simple & obvious—-don’t take life for granted. When you love someone say it. Never go to bed angry because tomorrow isn’t promised. Ya know, all the standards loss cliches.

I personally feel like the lessons I’ve learned from loss, all surround the people left here on earth after the loss. I’ve noticed that I now question my own actions a lot. And it really comes down to one basic question for my loved ones—if this is my last day or your last day on earth, did I handle the day right? Meaning, was I compassionate enough? Did I choose spending time with you or calling you over my to-do list? Was I listening closely enough to any angst on your mind, or did I let the busyness of life fog over our conversations?

I’ve noticed it has even made me pause and slow my roll with strangers. If someone in public is struggling with physically picking something up or moving something, did I stop and help them? If someone working in retail or a restaurant looks down or distressed or fogged over, did I ask them if they are ok or if I can help? Did I actually look at people today and make eye contact and smile? To me the scariest part of our quarantined/masked-up lives, is that people no longer make eye contact, or chit chat in the grocery line. We avoid each other like the plague. How many people that really needed someone to ask them how they’re doing, have gotten passed by today?

And honestly, I have to hope that as my littles watch me, they are learning how human-relationships trump any time-do list as well, right?

Loss is life-changing.

Loss is weird.

We all know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it will come to the doorstep of us all. I mean, really, it’s truly like taxes.

But regardless of what we know, regardless of what we’ve learned in life, regardless of what we see out our windshield or even in the rearview mirror, real loss is truly a sinkhole in life many of us struggle to ever climb out of.

That’s when our human interaction needs to kick in. We all end up in that damn sinkhole, every once in awhile you have to throw the rescue line… and every once in a while you have to be willing to catch it.

Keep an eye out folks. Be ready for that line, regardless if you’re pitching or catching.